Paging Jenny... It's me, God.

So I hate to go all Jesus loving on everyone, but I'm going there. Get ready. Buckle your seat belts kids. Let's go. It's going to be a great ride, I promise. 

The Lord and I are typically on one accord. He's a pretty cool dude, with an amazingly, overwhelmingly great job. Not only does He have children all over the world, but all of his precious children are living their life to glorify Him. Woah. I feel honored that He loves me unconditionally with no questions asked. He is always proud of me. He's the one to encourage me when no one else is around. He is one of my personal cheerleaders when I feel that I cannot finish the race that is set before me. How cool is that? I'd say it's pretty rad. 

I would say that I have a very open and casual way of communicating with the Lord. I'm not one for big and long formal words in prayers. That's confusing sometimes and not really who I am... So I follow the philosophy of 'You do you'. That philosophy is one on a list of life mottos of mine (which includes, "Haters are my motivators", but we will get to that another day). I'm more of the type of person who starts a prayer off with something like this... "Hey God..."

I will admit, sometimes life snatches me up and gets busy. Sometimes I get snatched up in a random memory and other times it's by a tidal wave that knocks me over. I won't lie, life can get overwhelming sometimes, more often than I would like in fact. It is in these times that I start to feel alone and lost. 

I can't help but smile because whenever I find life starting to get overwhelming, the Lord sends me small blessings to remind me that everything's gonna be a-okay. One of his latest blessings that He has been sending my way is sunrises and sunsets. You might be thinking, "Well Jenny, those happen every day. If it's light outside than the sun probably rose. And when it gets dark, that is likely due to the sun setting." YES. This is all true. 

But it is in these times of stress and me being overwhelmed that the Lord is saying, "Paging, Jenny. Going once... Twice... It's me, God. The big man upstairs" But the way that He is paging me or contacting me is through the sun. It's on the roughest days or the days that I don't think that things are going to go right, that I see the most beautiful sky. I can't help but pause my day and the thoughts consuming my brain to look up at the sky in awe. All words escape me and I feel fresh air filling my lungs. Sometimes the sky stays pretty for a long period of time and other times it is just for a few minutes. It fills that void that I am feeling and reassures me that with the Lord by my side I can do anything. 

So what is it that makes you stop and count your blessings? Or calms you down in the times of doubt and struggle? Whether you are a religious person or not, life gets hard sometimes. It's important to have some way to calm down and stop to admire the beauty that we call life. 

Hakuna Masquata - It means nice booty.

I've never really been the very physically active type or the one to run 5Ks. Let alone even the thought of going to the gym made my skin crawl. If I am being honest, gyms totally scare me. My stereotypical view of the gym is that they are made up of two types of people. 1. The big, buff (and scary) bros. 2. The pretty girls/women that are already physically fit. So that basically means, those are the two types of people that I had no desire to hang out with while I look like a fool trying to be 'physically active'.

I've learned in life that in order to be honest with others, I have to be honest with myself first. I was not in a good spot with my health for a long time. I knew deep down that there needed to be a change, but I honestly had no idea where to begin. How does one who has never really stepped foot into a gym go from none to fun? The 'fun' being the idea that you're supposed to enjoy going to the gym... Well maybe it's a stretch, but eventually that would be my view.

I recently moved back to my hometown and found out that there was a new gym that opened up a few miles away. I initially rolled my eyes at the thought of becoming a part of one of those huge gyms where 'gymtimidation' is the real deal. To my surprise, this gym was totally the opposite. It is nice, clean, friendly (where people actually smile at you, what a concept) and not intimidating at all.

I had no idea that my life would be changed that day that I walked into the gym to check it out. It's been several months and I can confidently say that I am a different person. I have learned so much about myself during this "journey to fitness", as cliche as it sounds... I have learned about my mental and physical capabilities. Working out is about 75% physical and 25% mental. I learned that I am able to do much more than I thought I was able to do and that my body allows me to do this. I've learned that in order to survive a 60 minute Zumba class you need to throw your cares to the wind so you can have the ability to laugh at how ridiculous you might look. I've learned that having a personal trainer is a such a blessing. He is the one to push me, encourage me and make sure that I am holding myself accountable. He also is able to handle the sassiness and sarcastic comments that I say when I'm in the zone working out.

But most of all I have learned that it is okay to sweat. I used to think that sweating was a sign of weakness. In reality though, it is a sign of strength and hard work. You sweat when you work hard and working hard allows you to have the capability of being successful and meeting your goals. I'm not as self conscious while I'm spending time working out at the gym. I'm not as worried about other people looking at me or wondering if they are judging me. I'm more focused on doing what I gotta do and achieving becoming a master bro.

And with that, I say: Hakuna Masquata... It means nice booty.

Selah - Stop and listen

I graduate in 56 days. It's been a few months now that I've been trying to sort out my life for what is in store for me after graduation. While so many things are going right, there has been something that has tethered me down and has prevented me from feeling free. It's been a process trying to put all the pieces of my life into the right boxes, all neat and tidy. I've been pondering about what the future has in store for me.

Most of all I am learning how to wait and be patient. I sure have a lot of questions about a wide variety of things. I am the type of person who likes to have everything figured out. I like to have a plan of what I'm going to do each day and what my life will look like for the next 3-5 years. Unfortunately, life doesn't always work out that way. I am learning how to place my whole trust in the Lord that He will reveal the answers to all of them when the time is right. 

In all of the craziness of life and with me trying to make sense of everything the Lord has been very patient with me. For a while now he has been trying to comfort me by placing His hands on my tense shoulders and saying "Calm my child." While I have heard this request from Him, I haven't really heard it or let it sink in. Instead, I let my flesh take over and get caught up in the daily shuffle of life.

I personally think that God is up there giggling at me and shaking His head while saying, "You silly goose. I've got it all figured out for you. There is no need to fret or frown." So being the loving God that He is, instead of giving up on me or being frustrated, He just presented the information in a different way. This came in the way of friends, music lyrics, strangers and daily blessings. And this is how it has happened... 

My friends recently have come to my rescue in helping to calm me down and give me hope. I've had the chance to have some really honest and real life conversations had with some close friends recently. These have helped gain a sense of peace. Late night sleeping bag star circles and open ears has helped me to put my fears, frustrations, hopes and dreams out into the open. Having a friend who intentionally takes the time to ask questions about things going on in my life to get down to the root of things, instead of staying on the surface level. 

This month I started being pen pals with this lovely individual I met through some mutual Jesus loving friends. We are practically strangers (as of now, but the friendship that is in store for us is going to be amazing) but decided that it would be fun to start writing letters. In her first letter to me she said in these exact words, "I felt Jesus wanted me to tell you to be still in Him." WOAH. This is exactly what I needed to hear and the Lord laid it on her heart to be another person to say this to me. 

I have also been finding that blessings come in big and small packages. I have also come to realize that they are a daily thing. One of my favorite daily blessing is the morning sunrise that I get to see on my commute to work. It reminds me that each day is a clean, yet beautiful slate and that no day (or sunrise) is ever the same. It challenges me to make the most of each moment in the day no matter what is planned. 

It is rare that such a simple song can move me to tears or give me so much peace. The song called "I shall not want" by Audrey Assad played on my radio while I was driving home from school recently and it put everything into great perspective for me. The lyrics are so humble and inspiring. Let these lyrics soak deep into your soul. 

"From the love of my own comfort.

From the fear of having nothing.

From a life of worldly passions.

From the need to be understood.

From the need to be accepted.

From the fear of being lonely.

From the fear of death or trial.

From the fear of humility. 

When I taste Your goodness I shall not want."

A word that has stuck out to me and that have been clinging onto is SELAH. It is a Hebrew word with a few different meanings. My favorite is that it means to 'stop and listen'. I need to do more of this. I need to stop to hear what the Lord (and others) are doing in my life and listen to what they have to say. 

Scouting is...

Girl Scouts is something that has been a big part of my life ever since I was a small child and will continue to be with me until the day I die. Some of my favorite memories in my life have a direct link to Scouting. To me, scouting is so many different things and has had such an impact on my life.

Scouting is...

FRIENDSHIP:

I have had the chance to travel to some really cool places and have been fortunate enough to meet some amazing people along the way. In all of this, I have found that Scouting is an invisible yet bold bond that links you to people that you've never met. The minute Scouting comes into the conversation, there is an instant connection and spark of friendship. I have become penpals with Scouts overseas who have taught me bits and pieces of their cultures. I am positive that the girls that I have met in Scouting over the years will be my friends until the end. They will be the girls that continue to encourage and support me. They may also be some of the girls that stand up in my wedding one day.

ADVENTURE:
My Scout friends and I have gone on some pretty great adventures over the years. For example, staying in a youth hostel in Madison, Wisconsin. Or that time when we got to learn how to fly private airplanes (and the fact that the pilot actually let us be in control of the steering controls. Eek). And that one time in high school that we created and led this huge scavenger hunt in the mall for younger girls, all while wearing crazy colored tutus. Or the summers that I've spent in Nebraska at a business-leadership camp for high school girls.

LEADERSHIP:

Girl Scouts and Girl Guides aim to build girls up to be confident leaders. My leadership skills have been shaped and enhanced as a result of doing my Gold Award project. It was with this project that I really learned how to plan, delegate, and follow through with a plan to help meet a need in my community. I also learned good leadership skills when I was a camp counselor at summer camp. I have learned how to speak up for myself and how to encourage others to do the same too.

TRAVEL: 

It's crazy to imagine that there are Girl Scouts literally ALL over the world. They are in countries that you've heard of and in those that you couldn't locate on the map. If it wasn't for Scouting, I wouldn't have had the chance to live in Kansas City, Missouri for two summers while serving as a camp counselor. It was through Scouts that I was able to be a chaperone for a group of high school girls and to be able to take them to an International Youth Conference in Chicago as well as the National Girl Scout Convention in Salt Lake City, Utah. It is because of this amazing organization that I am going to India this summer to serve in local communities while soaking in the culture. 

We as Girl Scouts are more than just those yummy cookies that you get once a year. We are an organization that is looking to make an impact on the world by empowering and encouraging girls to be the best that they can be. We are teaching girls to have the courage, character and confidence to be who they want to be and not to conform to society's standard of 'normal' or 'beautiful'.

So on this "World Thinking Day" I am here to express my gratitude and appreciation for this amazing global movement. I am thankful for the change it has made in my life, the people it's connected me with, and the lasting impact it has and will have on my sisters worldwide. I am thankful that my wonderful mom stepped up to be my Girl Scout leader so many years ago and stuck with it until our troop graduated from high school. It's on days like these that I can't imagine the kind of woman I would be today if Girl Scouts was not such an important part of my life.

 

Lessons on family.

Going into this semester I knew that my head would be filled to the brim with new knowledge. I had no idea that a good chunk of that knowledge would be about lessons on the importance of family. I come from an amazing family that I cherish so much, but this semester I learned about how to draw near to a family that isn't related to you by blood.

The first family that I became a part of was the 'SpEd Head' family. This family was made up of my fellow college students that were all in the same program as me as a Special Education major. We are all from the same college, were all placed in the same area of the state, but all have different stories. I looked forward to getting to know all of these individuals and to see how we would grow as professionals over the course of the semester. They were the ones that texted me back at those late hours in the evening about the silly question I had on a project. They were the ones who made the stress of the semester not seem so bad because I had someone else to share it with.

The second family I became a part of was the school staff and students at my placements. The high school I was placed at quickly became home. My students captured my heart with a strong and firm grip. These students have the BIGGEST hearts of anyone that I have ever met. Just like a family they cared for me on my good days and on my bad days. When they sensed that I was stressed they reached out with kind words to reassure me that everything would indeed be alright. They laughed at my jokes and didn't make fun of me when the grand science experiment I planned didn't go exactly as I had imagined it would. My kids at the grade school I taught at greeted me with hugs and tiny little smiles that seemed to take up their whole face. They were eager to learn and went out of their way to show me how smart they were.

The last family I became a part of was at my church. My mom jokes with me that when I first moved into this new town, finding a church was higher on the priority list than anything else, such as the mall or where the best ice cream shop was. During the middle of the week pretty early on in the semester I said a prayer to God to send me a friend at church. I told Him, "I don't need many friends. Just give me someone to hi to every Sunday. Or at least someone that will smile at me. I just want to feel like I belong." You see the Lord is amazing, and he provided me with not only one friend, but TWO that next Sunday. This family soon became known as my 'Decatur parents'. They took me in (when they didn't have to) and gave me with the comfort that only Christ can provide. While I didn't get to spend as much time with them as I would have liked (due to a busy school schedule), I appreciate every hug, prayer and text message checking in to see how I am doing.

Family is a lot about who raised you as a person. It is also about those around you that push you to be successful and encourage you along the way. I could not have made it through this semester with my  family from home (thanks Mom and Dad) and the three families I became a part of during the past six months. As this semester comes to a close and I get ready to move back home to Chicago, I have trouble with ending this chapter of the book of my life. I am not one to become attached easily, but so much good has come out of my last six months living here and in this experience. I know that it will be tough to leave all these memories behind, but I can't wait for what's in store for me in the coming months before I graduate.

Dear Future Husband...

There's this song by Meghan Trainor called "Dear Future Husband" that played on my iTunes the other day and it got me to thinking. The lyrics start out by saying, "Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be my one and only all my life." Sounds pretty legit, right? In this song she talks about the various things that her future husband should or needs to do in order for her to commit to him as being her future husband.

Every girl has that list of qualifications of things that they hope their future spouse will have. You might be saying, "Jenny, I definitely don't have one of those... What are you talking about?" Don't kid yourself, you probably have at least one quality you want your future lover to have. I used always joke that there was a list of seven qualities my future boyfriend/husband had to have in order to sweep me off my feet and love me forever. It was composed of 'must haves' and 'negotiable' items.

1. Be able to sing, play an instrument or have another really cool talent.
2. Be able to rock the bow tie and/or suspender look.
3. Be humble and kind and funny.
4. Love Jesus.
5. Have an accent.
6. Be able to hold his own in a social setting (ie. is an independent man).
7. Have siblings. (Can't be an only child)

Now when I look back at this list some of them make me laugh because of the ridiculousness (for example, having an accent, what was I thinking??), some of them still hold true and there are definitely other items that I would add.

So this got me to thinking about the letter that I would write to my future husband. Now I'll make it clear that I have no intentions on getting married anytime soon... Nor do I know who my future husband will be. I am as single as a pringle right now. The one thing I am sure about is that he's out there and I'm pretty sure that he will rock my socks off.

So here goes nothing....

Dear Future Husband,

Hi there handsome. We may or may not know each other, but I think you are really great and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I have been patiently waiting for you and couldn't be more excited for the life that waits before us.

Now I am sure you already have been given the "Can this guy date/love Jenny?" test by my father, grandfather and big 'brothers'. And I am positive that you passed it with flying colors, simply because you are that amazing. I have been raised by my parents to believe that I am a unique individual and deserve someone who will treasure that. My big brothers have reminded me time and time again that I can not and should not settle for anyone that isn't willing to realize the beauty that lies deep within me. I have some pretty wise and humble men that I look up to as role models. It is my hope that you will enjoy spending time with them. I also hope you will encourage me and push me as much as they do.

We both have our past, our baggage and our flaws. That is just simply how life is. No one is perfect, but we are perfectly imperfect. I have things in my past that I really like and those things that I wish I could forget about. I am sure that we will have our good and bad times, but I know that the love we have for each other will be enough to get us through. Let's take each day one step at a time, and never stop loving each other. 

I hope you like adventure, because those are my favorite. Are you ready for all the crazy ideas that roam around in my head? Are you willing to make those a reality no matter how ridiculous they sound at first? I look forward to exploring new cities and places with you. Let's venture out into the unknown and see what we find. I have a hunch that it will be fabulous and better than we could ever imagine.

Will you sing and dance with me when no one is watching (and even when they are watching too?). Do you like to do interpretative dance while driving? Because I sure do. I can't wait for the inside jokes we will call ours. I hope you are prepared for me to test out my cheesiest pick up lines on you. And I expect that you will return them with even cheesier responses.

Do you love Jesus? It is my hope that you do. If you don't, are you willing to still encourage me in my walk with Christ? This is a very important aspect in my life that I would love to share with you. I hope that we can spend time serving others and loving them like Christ loves us. I want to be a light to the world, right by your side.

So, what are we waiting for? Let's embark on this journey we call life. We will make splendid memories, have lovely conversations and grow old together. I see the love that we will share be fun, real and never ending. I love you with all of my heart already and there isn't a day that you aren't on my mind. I hope and pray that there is success in your life. I thank the Lord every day that he led me to you and for the love that we will share.

☮♡✞
Jenny

A new life motto to live by

Who knew that three short statements could change how you look and interact with the world around you. Be silly. Be honest. Be kind. So simple, yet so bold. I recently met someone that had a shirt that had this quote on it and it totally rocked my world. Instantly after reading the shirt, I went and got a piece of paper to write it down to save for later. I was given some strange looks by this individual, but that is probably because they don't understand my crazy obsession for quotes and how they provide meaning to my crazy life. 

Be silly.

Often we think that silliness is a childish thing but in reality it is something that will stay with us and be something we do each day in our life until the day we die. Look for the spark in other people's eyes. Hang out with those that just want to embrace life, no matter how ridiculous it may seem. Do you like to dance when no one's watching (or when there are a bunch of people watching)? Then do it. Go all out and get those hips moving and grooving. Sing even if your voice shakes or you think it's no good. 

Be honest.

Honesty is something that should be incorporated into our life each day. Most of all I need to be honest with my self. From time to time it's important for me to check myself to see if the way that I am leading my life aligns with the core values that I hold myself to. It is important for me to be honest with those that I come in contact with. I need to let the people I care about know how much I love them. I need to be honest and raw with my feelings and emotions. I need to be honest with myself and others when something is bothering me or not right. Honesty will take you very far. 

Be kind. 

Kindness is such a powerful thing and should be something you should hold tight to. The world can be a mean, cruel and scary place, but it's crucial to be kind to everyone you meet. You may not want to give kind words to the driver who cuts you off in traffic or that one co-worker that really gets under your skin, but you must. Life is too short to say anything less than something kind. It's the greatest feeling in the world to be kind to someone else and see that smile in return. Participate in random acts of kindness. It can be a grand gesture or something very small.