I graduate in 56 days. It's been a few months now that I've been trying to sort out my life for what is in store for me after graduation. While so many things are going right, there has been something that has tethered me down and has prevented me from feeling free. It's been a process trying to put all the pieces of my life into the right boxes, all neat and tidy. I've been pondering about what the future has in store for me.
Most of all I am learning how to wait and be patient. I sure have a lot of questions about a wide variety of things. I am the type of person who likes to have everything figured out. I like to have a plan of what I'm going to do each day and what my life will look like for the next 3-5 years. Unfortunately, life doesn't always work out that way. I am learning how to place my whole trust in the Lord that He will reveal the answers to all of them when the time is right.
In all of the craziness of life and with me trying to make sense of everything the Lord has been very patient with me. For a while now he has been trying to comfort me by placing His hands on my tense shoulders and saying "Calm my child." While I have heard this request from Him, I haven't really heard it or let it sink in. Instead, I let my flesh take over and get caught up in the daily shuffle of life.
I personally think that God is up there giggling at me and shaking His head while saying, "You silly goose. I've got it all figured out for you. There is no need to fret or frown." So being the loving God that He is, instead of giving up on me or being frustrated, He just presented the information in a different way. This came in the way of friends, music lyrics, strangers and daily blessings. And this is how it has happened...
This month I started being pen pals with this lovely individual I met through some mutual Jesus loving friends. We are practically strangers (as of now, but the friendship that is in store for us is going to be amazing) but decided that it would be fun to start writing letters. In her first letter to me she said in these exact words, "I felt Jesus wanted me to tell you to be still in Him." WOAH. This is exactly what I needed to hear and the Lord laid it on her heart to be another person to say this to me.
I have also been finding that blessings come in big and small packages. I have also come to realize that they are a daily thing. One of my favorite daily blessing is the morning sunrise that I get to see on my commute to work. It reminds me that each day is a clean, yet beautiful slate and that no day (or sunrise) is ever the same. It challenges me to make the most of each moment in the day no matter what is planned.
It is rare that such a simple song can move me to tears or give me so much peace. The song called "I shall not want" by Audrey Assad played on my radio while I was driving home from school recently and it put everything into great perspective for me. The lyrics are so humble and inspiring. Let these lyrics soak deep into your soul.
"From the love of my own comfort.
From the fear of having nothing.
From a life of worldly passions.
From the need to be understood.
From the need to be accepted.
From the fear of being lonely.
From the fear of death or trial.
From the fear of humility.
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want."
A word that has stuck out to me and that have been clinging onto is SELAH. It is a Hebrew word with a few different meanings. My favorite is that it means to 'stop and listen'. I need to do more of this. I need to stop to hear what the Lord (and others) are doing in my life and listen to what they have to say.
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