Teaching the white girl to dance.

My freshman year I took a big leap out of my comfort zone and joined the Interdenominational Youth Choir, a predominately African American gospel choir on my campus. When I joined three years ago I had no idea that it would change my life and shape me into a confident young woman. This blog post serves as an ode to my IYC fam and a shout out for the amazing times.

The four amigos from freshman year. 

The story starts out with me as a freshman (awkward and shy that's for sure) in college. My university has something called "Festival ISU" where all the student and community organizations come out on the quad to give out information and try to recruit people to be in their group. I walked around the quad with my friend Julie. We spent the afternoon checking out all the cool organizations that the university has to offer and collecting a crap ton of free stuff (Julie was especially excited for the free cups, haha). During high school I was always involved in my church's choir and I loved every minute of it! We would spend our spring breaks touring across the USA singing at various churches. That choir was where I made some of my closest friends from high school. So going into college I wanted to see if I could join a choir of some sort to keep up the singing.

Smiles all around at a concert freshman year. 

I remember walking up to the IYC booth because I saw two things that interested me; music notes and Jesus. I thought to myself, "Wow! Two of my favorite things located in one booth! Can life get any better than this?" The people that were at the booth asked me if I liked to sing and became very excited when I responded that I did. They proceeded to give me information about how to become a member and when rehearsals were and such. I took the information and then continued on my way. That night when I got home, Julie and I looked through the handful of flyers that we had collected throughout the day.

Exec board being our goofy selves. 

When I came to the IYC flyer I googled them to see if I could get more information. When the website came up I read that this choir was one of the first predominately black organizations that is on ISU's campus. My first immediate thought was, "Well, I'm not black. I'm definitely as white as can be. So I obviously can't join this choir." And that was that. I didn't go to that rehearsal the first week because I was afraid to step outside of my comfort zone. Weeks went by and I went about my life, occasionally thinking about the choir, but mostly focusing on school work and such. About a month later I was sitting in my math class when this girl came and sat down next to me. She was wearing one of IYC's track jackets so I could easily tell that she was a member of the choir. Curiosity got the best of me and I approached her and asked her about her jacket and pretended to play dumb as she explained all about the choir (I had already known most of the information because a few weeks previously I had done some more research).

The exec board and our clinician Judith McAllister at our Workshop.  

The next thing I know I am going to my first IYC choir rehearsal. I went into the room where it was being held only knowing one person (and I barley knew her because we just met that morning) and I walked out at the end of the night with a whole new family. The minute I walked into the room the president of the choir (who is my big brother and best friend now) marched right up to me and said "Welcome home suga foot" while embracing me in a huge hug. I sat in awe during the warm ups and review of the songs. The music and harmonies between the sections was outstanding. I was instantly hooked. It was not a coincidence that I had ran into that girl in my math class who then sparked the interest again to get involved in the choir.

Eating lunch with our sister choir
 from Northern Illinois University. 

Joseph and I. Can't catch us not smiling.

I was welcomed with open arms that first rehearsal and that truly changed my life. Being a member of this amazing choir has opened my eyes to so many great things and broadened my horizons. Growing up I came from a mainly white town and didn't experience much diversity. I had interacted with people that were different than me, but it wasn't a regular part of my life. This was the first time that I have ever experienced being the minority of a group (and that truly doesn't happen very often being a white, middle class, female). Was it awkward being the minority sometimes? Sure. I would receive some stares as I would enter various events that we were singing at. Were the stares meant to be hurtful? Probably not, I would imagine the were more sparked by curiosity than anything else. Most of all I learned how to be compassionate towards others that are different than me and this is a very good lesson to learn. The thing that is most beautiful in all of this is that I may have a different skin color than my friends in choir, but we are still a part of Christ's HUGE family. That bond is so much stronger than anything else in the world. All the differences between our lives are wiped away because we have this common thread of brother and sisterhood.

Praise and worship pose. And go. 

The past three years of my time in choir have been absolutely fabulous and I wouldn't change it for the world. My choir family has been there to encourage me through the bad times and celebrate with me during the good times. We have shared many smiles, laughs, tears, late nights and adventures. I have enjoyed building relationships with everyone I've met and experiencing all that I can throughout my time in choir. I also had the pleasure of serving on the Executive Board for two years as the Vice President. During my time as VP, I got to help plan and lead some cool programs as well as put on a very successful Workshop weekend for visiting college choirs. I took for granted all the amazing opportunities and wonderful people I met as a result of being a member of this choir. I will miss this experience as I graduate college and start up my new life. These memories and people will forever be etched into my heart and always on my mind. I am so blessed to have this choir in my life and my life has been forever changed.

My big brother, role model and best friend. So thankful he's in my life. 

My mom would always joke with me throughout my time in choir that 'They were teaching the white girl to dance.' I attribute my grove and natural swag from being a part of a gospel choir. I am positive that my ability to harmonize with the radio in the car is a direct result from the endless hours of rehearsal and being a member of the Alto section. Not only did IYC teach this white girl how to dance, but they also taught her how to open up her heart and let others walk in. They taught her how love others unconditionally and the true meaning of family. They helped her build a stronger relationship with Christ. They helped her find herself in a world that can often times be overwhelming.


Quick Little Funny Story to Share:
We had a concert in the spring of my Junior year and at the end of the concert some of my choir friends came up to me and said "Oh Jenny it's so cool that your parents came to the concert!" I gave them a puzzled look because my parents were not at the concert due to having a schedule conflict. I told them this and they shook their heads and pointed to the only white couple sitting in the audience and said, "No, that's them, isn't it?" All I could do was laugh and reply "Nope that's not them. Just because they are white doesn't mean you can assume they are related to me." It made me giggle but then stop to think about how many times this might happen with the roles reversed.

My big brother Javin and amazing advisor Donald. 

Writing my story...

I am a senior in college. In less than a year I will be entering the real world as a college grad. Sometimes this still catches me off guard. Graduating from college is such a big accomplish and will be such a pivotal moment in my life. It seems like the ever present question that people have been asking me lately has been, "So... What are your plans for after college?"

Honestly, this question frustrates me and makes me anxious because I don't know what exactly I will be doing after college. I don't have a perfect road map laid out for me with dates and things for me to accomplish. Instead I have a good idea of what I would like to do and a lot faith in the Lord that he will lead me to do His will. I can see myself doing many great things and sometimes it's hard to narrow it down into a maintainable and reachable vision. I will be graduating with a degree in Special Education so I can definitely see myself doing something with that. My heart is also pulling me to do international missions to help empower women and girls through education. There are so many options and opportunities that lie in front of me that it is hard to know exactly which path I should go down and pursue. How do I know I made the right choice? What if I was meant to do something completely different and I missed that opportunity? 


When the uncertainty and pressure of the future weighs heavy on me all I can do is trust that in time I will know what I am supposed to do. There's a song that has spoken to me recently. It says the following:

"I'm an empty page

I'm an open book

Write Your story on my heart

Come on and make Your mark

Author of my hope

Maker of the stars

Let me be Your work of art

Won't You write Your story on my heart"

- Francesca Battistelli 

I couldn't agree more with these lyrics. At this point in my life (and always) I will be an empty page of an open book, just waiting for me to leave my mark on the world. As much as I worry about what the future holds for me, I have no doubt that it will be really freaking awesome. I am going to make several mistakes, but will most definitely learn from them to make me a stronger person in the long run. My life will have its ups, downs, twists and turns for sure. This is just the beginning of me writing my story... I don't have to have all the answers to the questions that roam around in my head. I just have to be open to living life and whatever comes my way. Let the next chapter of my life begin with no regrets. 

What I Miss

I recently moved to a new town for one of my teaching placements and I can count the amount of people that I know on one hand. I am in my senior year of college, but am not living on campus with the rest of my friends. While the majority of my friends and peers will be experiencing their last year of school with each other, I have entered the real world early and am learning how to start my career. This semester will be a season of firsts and new experiences, and I am quite ready for the challenge. While I am embracing the change up ahead, I can't help but to look back at what I'll miss.

What I miss...

• Sunday night grocery store adventures with my best friend
• The college atmosphere and how friendly everyone is
• Turtle dancing on the couch with my roommates
• Midnight milkshake runs
• Football games (but not actually for the football, I mainly only go for the marching band #bandnerdforlife) 
• Jesus talks with close friends
• Movie nights
• The beautiful quad in the fall 
• Narrating my roommate's life in song (and them telling me that I annoy them, but the fact that they secretly enjoy it)
• Singing in the gospel choir and all the crazy shenanigans we get into
• Being a part of the MASAI mentor program and seeing the success my mentees have had in college
• Wednesday afternoon cuddles in a huge bed
• Scheduled days of fun with my roommates
• The Sweet Corn Festival in Uptown Normal (because I freaking love corn on the cob)
• Being a part of Students Today Leaders Forever and going on the Pay It Forward Tour
• Going on cool service trips with really neat people
• Touching windmills out in the country

Now I could easily dwell upon all the things that will be different about this year and the things that I will miss while living in this new place. I have made up my mind though however to make a list of the things I am looking forward to and excited for.

What I'm excited for...

• Making this new apartment my home for the next 6 months
• Inspiring my students to learn and have fun while doing it
• Going to bed before 10 o'clock. Eh, a girl can dream, can't she? 
• Getting to know my new lovely roommate
• Joining a new church family
• Having time to read books for fun, maybe...
• Exploring this new town I am in and going on adventures
• Working really hard this semester and seeing it all pay off
• Learning a ton from my cooperating teacher
• Making new friends and keeping up with old ones
• The quietness that is there when you live in a residential apartment rather than an apartment complex filled with college kids
• Having a small, but functional kitchen to cook and bake in
• A walk in closet that holds all my teaching clothes (and the fact that the number of teaching clothes outnumbers the amount of regular clothes #teacherproblems)
• Getting to know my neighbors and hearing their life story

There are so many things for me to look forward to during this semester. While I will miss my friends and activities that go on at school, I am ready for this new adventure. Let's see where life takes me this semester. Readyyyyyyy. Set. Gooooooo! 

I will choose to enjoy the journey that God has set before me. 

[Bucket list Item #10]: Get a small meaningful tattoo.

Tattoos. They are something that stays permanently on your body. Forever. It’s kind of a big commitment. I have never had the strong desire to get tatted up all over my body or to even get a handful of them; it just simply wasn’t my style. Some people can pull off that look effortlessly, but I am pretty sure that I wouldn’t be one of those people. A few years ago I started making a bucket list of things that I would want to accomplish before my time on this amazing earth is over. One of the items on my list is ‘to get a small, meaningful tattoo’. I had originally put it on the bucket list on a whim, and didn’t really think that it would ever be accomplished. If you know me pretty well you know that I don’t do well with needles. For example, every time I get blood drawn at the doctor I have to have them use the butterfly needles (the ones they use on small children) and just pray that I don’t pass out. Call me a wimp or a baby if you want, that’s just the way I am I guess. So with all this being said, in order to get a tattoo they use needles, so it was going to be very interesting to see how this would work out.

This was my original drawing. 

I knew when I put this item on my bucket list that if I were ever to get a tattoo it would be of a peace sign, a heart and a cross. It would be small and be located on my left wrist. A lot of people wonder and ask ‘why are you having those three symbols tattooed on you? What do they mean? Peace, love and Jesus?’ And yeah, that’s exactly what it means. Three of my favorite things; peace, love and Jesus. Back in high school I got really into writing letters and having pen pals. At first when I started I would just sign the letters ‘Love, Jenny’. It was very plain, very simple and got the point across. One day I received a letter from a friend and she had signed it with a heart and a cross that were intertwined. I thought it was a very neat way of leaving your mark. From that point on I decided to create my own signature that would leave my mark. In doing that I decided upon the peace sign, heart and cross. Still simple, but with deep meaning and power behind it. Ever since then I have been signing letters, cards, and autographs (Just kidding. I’m not that famous. Yet.).

The process and the finished product. 

A few friends and I had planned on getting tattoos at the end of the summer once camp was over and everything. As the date approached closer and closer I could feel my anxiety increasing. I wasn’t sure that I would actually follow through with it until I signed into the tattoo parlor and submitted the down payment. There were four of us getting tattoos that day. Each one was different and each was unique in its own way. I was the last one to get it done and by that point I had already understood the process and my nerves were calming down. I had submitted a drawing of what I wanted it to look like and then the artist took my drawing and sketched it out again.  After you approve the drawing they put it on this special kind of paper that turns into a temporary tattoo. They then take that paper and place it on the part of your body where you want the tattoo so they can make sure the spacing and size is acceptable. The artist got mine on the first try and I liked how it looked, so she then went ahead and started tracing it with the needle. The whole process took about 15-20 minutes, but boy did it feel like a longer time than that. The pain was tolerable but with me being a wimp, it did hurt a bit. After she was all done I couldn’t believe that it was actually finished. I was able to have a quick look before it got bandaged up for healing. As the bandage was being taped onto my skin I just felt this huge wave of relief knowing that I did it and I’m still here to tell the story.

I can say for a fact that I am very pleased with how it all turned out. The experience was an interesting one, but I wouldn’t change it in any way. I’m not sure if I would get another tattoo, but I very much appreciate mine that I have now.