I am a mess, I am a wrecking ball.

Music has a sneaky way of making sense of my life. A lot of times when I'm feeling certain ways I can find a song that can easily describe exactly how I'm feeling. It's not an easy task, but eventually I do find that song that explains everything and puts my soul at ease. 

I have recently found myself to be going through a season of feeling lost at sea and like the the waves of doubt and stress were going to gobble me up. It's been a little rough, I won't lie. The stress of school, extra curricular responsibilities and maintaining friendships has caught up with me and has overwhelmed me a bunch. Don't get me wrong, I love my major and the kids that I have the opportunity to work with. I love the organizations that I am a part of and have the chance to serve in leadership roles with. And I adore the amazing friends that I have been blessed with. Somehow during the process of making everything work out and have my life run smoothly I have forgotten about myself and the importance to take time for me and to relax. My roommates and close friends have always told me that I'm too busy, but I usually just brush it off and go about my life again. It took spreading myself too thin and realizing that this was too much for me to take a step back and realize how important it is to have a nice balance in your life. 


These lyrics have spoken truth into how I've been feeling for the past few weeks. 

Sometimes this world starts breaking me down

I get so lost I think I’ll never be found

And there are moments of fear and doubt

Even the best fall to the ground

I am a mess, I am a wrecking ball

I must confess that I still don’t get it all

Lord I believe that all Your words are true

Doesn’t matter where I’m going if I’m going with You

I press on, I press on, I press on

When I still don’t get it

I see the world through my jaded eyes

I get frustrated when there is no Why

I put my focus on worthless things

Even the strong fall to their knees

God only knows what we all need

I am a mess, I am a wrecking ball

These lyrics are powerful and can give comfort in a time of uncertainty, stress and doubt. 'Even the best fall to the ground.' That is the lyric that I hold on tight to. I know I don't have it all together, and that is perfectly alright. Who says I need to be perfect, all knowing and have all my stuff together? I guess I have come to realize that the only one pressuring me to do all those things was myself. Kinda crazy, right? I can be my biggest enemy and critic, but I can also be my biggest cheerleader and encourager. I want to choose the latter and am working to make it something that I practice every day. So while I may be a mess and a wrecking ball in my life, I know that it's alright to struggle. It's alright to admit that you don't know it all and can't do everything. I have an amazing support system of friends and family who back me up and encourage me to be the best I can be. All I can do is press on. 

Check out the lyric video to Press On by Building429

[Peace&Love] Jenny